Marina

My home became my prison.

 

I remember the first day, I will never forget it! Getting up at 5 am, endless calls from relatives and neighbors, everyone is in a panic, we did not understand what to do. I did not believe that this could happen, that the war is actually real.

 

Already about 8 am on the streets of my city, extreme panic. There were traffic jams on the roads, everyone tried to leave the city. Other people stood in queues at all shops, supermarkets, pharmacies, buying up everything they could carry.

 

Around were heard the signals of cars, the screams of people and distant explosions. I’ve never heard explosions before. The first few days many people left Kherson, my friends and relatives. My five year-old son, my mother Helena and I stayed at home as we did not have the opportunity to leave. On the 3rd day of the war, Russian soldiers entered the city. And then it became completely clear to us that we were alone, no one could help us, no one would protect us. The military drove into the city in tanks, armored personnel carriers and military vehicles. In the first days of the occupation, people in the city tried to resist, but everyone was shot. In the parks and squares where I usually walk with my son now there were corpses and no one could even take them away.

 

The Russian military fired at residential buildings, moving cars and people crossing the road. The city was silent in fear. The streets were empty, everything was closed. We also stayed at home, afraid to go outside. On those days it was impossible even to buy bread and groceries.

A week later, my mother and I alternately stood in lines for 4-5 hours every day, hoping to buy some food.

 

Faith in liberation was with us every day. We wanted to return to our life, but alas Russian soldiers in the city became more and more every day. They did whatever they wanted, robbed shops, took people away, took away cars, set their own rules of life for us, once free people. We had to observe a curfew from 6pm to 8 am. No more than 2 people together while outside. Men were to have their coats unstuck; when stopped, one cannot resist a search. It was dangerous to drive a car, because cars could be taken away. Walking is also dangerous, people were taken away on the streets and taken out in an unknown direction. My son and I were at home almost all the time, hiding in the corridor from constant explosions.

 

After 2 weeks, there was not enough food and medicine in the city. I thought that the main thing was not to get sick and take care of my son, since there were no medicines and hospitals did not work. Food also had to be saved. We also tried to help lonely people and pensioners. Active hostilities and constant shelling, trembling windows and doors did not let me sleep for many nights in a row. Sometimes we hid in the basement of our house with other people, as the bomb shelters were overcrowded and they were far from our house.

 

It only got worse from then on. Constant fear of going outside, and fear of staying at home, scared to fall asleep, what if I don’t wake up? All this time, my son was nearby, falling asleep under the explosions, hiding behind dark curtains from military vehicles that patrol the streets every hour and shone spotlights in the windows of the houses. I forgot about the happy childhood of my child, about his first successes in sports, laughter and joy. He didn’t play with the children anymore, did not go to the kindergarden, did not go for walks. We were banned in our apartment like in a prison, in constant anxiety and fear.

 

Everything collapsed, all life stopped. All schools, kindergartens, shops, supermarkets, hospitals, banks, and pharmacies were closed in the city. No police, firemen or doctors.

 

The Russian military seized hospitals and set up their own hospitals there, seized all state institutions. Even libraries, one of which my mother works in. They took out all the computers and equipment. They just came to our city and destroyed everything that we had built for such a long time and everything that we loved.

 

The soldiers broke into houses and building entrances, broke into apartments, and took people away. Further, not only the constant sounds of explosions, the terrible rumble of fighter jets flying over the roofs of houses, rocket launches were heard, but also automatic bursts echoed through the empty streets.

 

Also, it was scary because there are 2 prisons in the city, one of them is a strict regime colony for especially dangerous criminals. All the prisoners were released from them. You can imagine that now everyone on the streets began to fear not only the military, but simply people walking behind us.

 

We were in occupation for about 42 days. Hope was dying in us as well as our joy of life.

I was lucky to find a man, his name is Vyacheslav. In 2015, he came to Kherson from Donetsk, running away from the occupation, now he had to run away a second time. He helped us to leave Kherson for the city of Kropyvnytskyi where my uncle lives. Only 230 kilometers to get there, we drove for 14 hours. Passing through broken villages, houses, and burned-out cars; it became much more terrible. The Russian military checked the documents, the contents of the car, and pointed machine guns at people. On the sides of the road there were many signs with the inscription – mines. Soldiers were letting a convoy of cars into an open field under fire. To say that it was scary, no, it is better to remain silent.

 

When we reached the first Ukrainian checkpoint, tears flowed from our eyes. My son, Timothy sang the anthem of Ukraine; we were so happy to see our military.

 

This war took everything from me: my happy life, my family, the childhood of my child, our relatives, close people, friends, our home; they just destroyed my world and broke my heart!

Another 3 weeks we stayed with my son in Kropyvnytskyi. Due to constant air raid alerts 5-6 times a day, he did not even want to go out into the yard. What to do next? How to live? It was very difficult to decide to go abroad. My sister Yulia was already in the Czech Republic, she arrived from Kharkov in mid-March. She was lucky to meet kind people who are ready to provide support and help.

 

It was difficult for me to leave our mother, and now I feel bad that I still left her completely alone. We do not have anyone else, my mother is alone, in an occupied city where there is no connection. We can no longer contact her, hear her voice, or ask her how she is doing.

 

In Prague, my son and I have been living with my sister, Yulia, and her son for almost a month. Our little and torn family has a house, and everything we need for a normal life: food, clothes, and the most important is a peaceful sky above your head. Children go to kindergarten again, they rejoice, laugh, play and have fun.

 

We were lucky to meet the kind, helpful, kindhearted generous people from the AMITY family who found our new home and everything in it, from a teaspoon to beds, appliances and more. The people from AMITY not only gave us a roof over our heads, they helped us to build a life from scratch. Support is very important and we really need it. Sincere people with incredibly kind hearts help us not only financially, but also emotionally. Boundless gratitude to kind people. We will never forget this! And I know that good will win!

 

And the wounds on the heart will someday heal, but the black holes in the soul may never disappear. War is pure evil! The evil that destroys everything sacred on earth, everything human, and it takes lives. Every day I pray for the health of all people, for peace and the liberation of Ukraine!